External pressures on our children
The first pressure we face as parents is external and comes into our homes through the surrounding culture. There was a time when family life was centred on the home; the outside world had little influence on children. This is no longer the case today.
In the past, family members spent a lot of time together (for meals, shared activities, etc.). Parents still had a predominant influence on the lives of their children. They were their primary source of education and could decide to limit their children’s contact with the outside world. They made sure to teach the child what was appropriate for his age, according to his ability to understand certain subjects. In other words, children were protected from the outside world, which was a good thing. This is no longer the case today.
Everything was swept away, first by television and then by the Internet and social networks. Children are now exposed to all kinds of ideas and information, without those who disseminate them having questioned their ability to assimilate them. The best and worst of what society can offer are too easily accessible to them. Our children are exposed to content that we, as parents, can no longer control and often do not want them to see or to listen.
They also live in a society that tends to erase the differences between adults and children. The world of adults opening up to them in all possible ways, children will start to imitate them, for the better but unfortunately more often for the worse (immorality, drug addiction…).
For the education of their children, parents must ultimately face two enormous pressures: the external pressure of a corrupt world that weighs on their children and tries to influence them; and the internal pressure of the sinful nature of their offspring.
Parents, watchmen for their homes
Just as pastors guard their church, parents are called by God to be guardians of their homes. As sentinels, they have the responsibility and authority received from the Lord to judge what can enter their homes. Classmates and friends of their children often have distorted moral conceptions. It is therefore important for parents to discuss with their children matters that concern them, in the light of the Word of God. Our children are the sheep of the Lord, whom we must feed (John 21:15).
The Christian education of children
It is not enough for a child to hear the Bible lessons taught in Sunday school. The duty to teach the Word of God is first and foremost for parents at home. And we teach our children every time we answer the many questions they ask us, every time we comment on the events of the day, every time we give them directions for school, home or games. Let us pray as parents that our teaching will always be in accordance with the Word of God.
We must look after our children in a close dependence on God and by learning to entrust them to the sovereign care of the Lord. We are accountable to Him for how we raise our children because it is a mandate that we have received from Him. We must be aware of the spiritual situation of our children: is the Lord really present in their lives?
The word “educate” comes from the Latin “educer”, which means “lead out”. We understand that the child is called to leave the family circle and take his autonomy. Educating consists in imprinting rules (of morality, personal management…) into the inner being of the child, to allow him to acquire his material and psychic independence.
As Christians, a comprehensive educational process is to place Jesus Christ at the centre of all things. Priority must be given to the discovery of the One who is the basis of true knowledge and the Source of life, and not limited to the acquisition of knowledge by our child. The antichrist world in which we live gives our children a training outside of God, teaching them to reason only according to men’s thought with the promise, at the end, to obtain a diploma, to practise a profession and acquire a position in society.
The purpose of Christian education is quite different: the knowledge of God, with the set up of the character of Christ in our children so that they are in His likeness.
They were created by God and for God to achieve a precise purpose: to enter into the things that He Himself has prepared in advance for them.
It is not the primary mission of the State, or even of the Church, to educate our children. It is the parents mission, and fathers in particular (Proverbs 1:8-9; 6:20-21).
Proverbs 1: 8-9 « 8My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: 9For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck. » KJV
Proverbs 6 : 20-21 « 20My son, keep thy father’s commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother:21Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck. » KJV
School gives instruction, parents educate
Many Christian parents today believe that the religious education of their children is a matter for the Church, and they therefore forgot any form of teaching within the family. The local church can make a contribution, but parents – and especially fathers – are primarily responsible for the education of their children, as it is written in Deuteronomy: “you will teach them to your sons.” This word remains true, even if society has changed.
The Old Testament repeatedly emphasizes man’s responsibility on these matters. The Bible clearly assigns to him the role of leading his family in such a way that the teaching and testimony of God can be passed on to children. Man is primarily responsible and it is to him that God will ask for accountability on his family. It is the ultimate responsibility of fathers to ensure that the word of God is taught to children (Ephesians 6:4).
Ephesians 6:4 « 4And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. » KJV
The first duty of a father is to be an evangelist in his own home, his high priority being to bring his children to a personal knowledge of God.
Our children also need to learn that they are sinners, separated from God without Jesus Christ. They will feel while growing up impulses that dishonor God, but they can walk in sanctification.
The ultimate duty of a parent is to ensure the eternal salvation of his children.
Discipline for transformation in the image of Christ
We are probably in the most permissive period of our history and parents no longer know how to discipline their children. Christian parents should teach their children according to the Lord, not the world. The child needs to be transformed, corrected, receiving instructions from The Lord.
Discipline is not against the child, but for his good. This discipline, according to The Lord, will enable him to have a good attitude towards God, but also with men, during his whole life. Let not the heart of our children be seeded with a thought other than that of Christ, for later it is their thoughts which will determine their actions.
Family worship
The education of a child begins at birth. Well before the child can reason, he is already recording emotions, attitudes, behaviors, habits and everything that will be an integral part of his personality.
What a wonderful privilege and huge responsibility God has given us, as Christian parents, to raise our children “by correcting them and teaching them according to the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4) !
Prayer in the couple for children seems obvious to everyone, but it is becoming increasingly rare. The best Bible Institute in the world, it is a father and mother reading the Bible to their children. Yet, it is estimated that more than 60% of Christian households do not have family worship with their children. It is not surprising that the spiritual life in our churches is often so poor.
In the midst of the moral and spiritual confusion of this world, our children need the beneficial haven of family worship where they can discover the only truth and unshakable foundation of their lives.
Having Christ-centered family relationships means making sure the Lord is present in the discussions, decisions and activities of the family.
The dreams of God
As children grow, we should encourage them to make their own decisions, but always by listening to God’s counsel. They must be prepared for the day when they will no longer depend on our authority, but always on that of God.
We must not make them legalistic Christians, but young adults who will know how to seek with their intelligence and faith the ways that God has laid out for them.
Let us respect our children by not enclosing them in our own patterns, in our dreams, but accompany them in the search for their destiny. Let us instead allow the dreams of God to take their place in their lives!
